If you don’t know what a safe word is, then you need to hop on bondage.com and immediately start reading some reviews of bondage sites. Read a site review here: http://tiemeupnow.com/sites/bondage/. You can tell from the review whether the site is legit or not. If you are looking for some bondage play, you must start your research today. You obviously are a bit behind the times, and that’s no way to be when it comes to bondage in general. If you do know what a safe word is, however, then you might be wondering how to pick the best one for you. Whatever the case may be, a safe word is extremely important in your relationship if you practice bondage with one another. Keep this in mind and make sure that you take the time to discuss what exactly will work best in the kind of scenarios that the two of you play out.
What Is a Safe Word, Anyway?
A safe word is a word that your partner uses in a scenario that often involves consent play. This might involve the act of forcing them to do something that they don’t want to do, and their resistance and saying of “no, stop, please don’t” might be part of their fantasy. This obviously makes it very difficult to figure out when exactly the line of “really, just stop” has been crossed, and that’s when a safe word comes into play.
Usually, the safe word that is chosen is a word consistent throughout all scenarios. This word will have nothing to do with the scenarios itself, and it might be something as silly and out there as the word pudding. When your partner wants you to stop or feels uncomfortable in general with the way the scenario is going, they will say the safe word and you will take that as a cue to stop what you are doing and bring an end to the scenario entirely. There are other options for safe words as well, and that is especially important if their mouth is otherwise in use, such as if they are gagged. Because your partner will not be able to speak, there are often visual cues such as tapping of a foot or smacking of a hand onto something that will cue that you have gone to far, and it’s time for you to stop what you are doing in order to let your partner have a breather. Safe words are often discussed on reviews of bondage sites, and should always be a part of your scenarios.
The Ease of Use For a Safe Word Is Important
A safe word should be, first and foremost, extremely easy to remember and recall for your partner in the heat of the moment. It also shouldn’t be overly long and difficult, because if it is, it might be too hard to say when your partner is already feeling overwhelmed and looking for an outlet. Safe words are best kept to quick, concise words, but also must be words that have no meaning in the midst of your scenario. If you pick the wrong safe word, there’s a chance that your partner might just blurt it out and not even think about it…and you’ll stop dead and break character in order to ask if they’re okay. This can entirely ruin the mood of your scenario for the night, and that’s not something to go and leave an amazing review on a bondage site about for sure.
Picking the wrong safe word can result in a dangerous situation overall for your partner. If she picks something overly complicated, she will find herself unable to quickly cut off the kind of scenario that is making her feel uncomfortable, because there’s a chance that she might have forgotten the safe word itself. As always, remind her of the safe word that she’s chosen before the actual scenario itself starts, and that will hopefully insure that there is no difficulty in remembering exactly what it is. Safe words are integral to the trust and happiness of your partner, and without them, a fun, consensual bondage situation simply can’t happen.
What If She Doesn’t Want a Safe Word?
Tell her that she needs one anyway. It doesn’t matter how many reviews of bondage sites that she’s read that tell her that safe words are unnecessary if you trust your partner–it isn’t about the dominant partner creating a poor scenario or scaring their other half, and that’s a fact. Safe words are there for submissives to use whenever they feel the slightest bit of discomfort or unwillingness to continue, no matter what happens in the scenario itself. Tell her that she needs a safe word for her own safety–as the name applies, after all–and hopefully that will convince her to pick one and pick one that she remembers and uses in the future as needed.
If she still refuses to pick a safe word, insisting that she trusts you and knows that you’ll treat her well, then refuse to have a scenario with her. It isn’t just about protecting her at that point, but it’s also about protecting yourself and your own reputation. Again, safe words are there in order to prevent harmful situations from happening, especially in the midst of consent play. By choosing to not pick a safe word, she is labeling herself as being unaware of her own boundaries, and therefore, she is labeling herself as an immature partner that isn’t ready for that sort of interaction. You should avoid these kinds of partners because ultimately, they will cause themselves–and you as well–more harm than good.
Safe Words Are The End All, Be All
Without a safe word, scenarios simply shouldn’t happen at all, whether they are involving light bondage or full-on BDSM in general. Safe words are the bread and butter of the bondage community, or at least they should be. Without them, you will not be able to have a safe, sane, and consensual relationship to the full degree that bondage will allow. That means that you will not have the kind of fulfilling sex that bondage is meant to provide for both you and your partner. Keep this in mind, and always insist on a safe word no matter how much your partner is trying to say that they trust you.
If you ever hesitate and think that it will be okay to not use a safe word with your partner, then you should try and remember the ramifications of not having proper consent in a sexual situation in general. That’s called rape, and yes, you can actually end up in jail for this. It would not be the first time for a submissive to call rape on their dominant half when they simply didn’t want to use a safe word and the situation became far more than they could handle. You do not want this kind of situation to happen to you, so always insist on having your partner have a safe word in the wings as needed. Even if they never utter it a single time in all the years that you might be together, it’s there for a reason, and it will make you both feel far more at ease when you begin a scenario.